About the blog

GETTING WHAT YOU WANT

It took me three years to complete my Master’s of Integrated Studies, or MA-IS for short, online at Athabasca University, Canada’s premier online university. An interdisciplinary degree, my specialization was two-fold: Educational Studies and Cultural Studies which meant that I had to somehow combine the two for my final project. Since I had a particular interest in writing, the bulk of my Cultural Studies courses included such writing courses as Creative Non-fiction and Writing for Personal Development. I was very interested in using writing for personal development as an educational tool, but it was too difficult to measure the effects of writing for personal development on students within the time limit of six months. As well, measuring educational progress is difficult and poses many problems. Thus, for my final project, I decided to apply writing for personal development to educational studies by crafting an auto-ethnographical account of my private tutoring practice. For those interested in education or writing, or having 20 minutes to waste, my final project can be accessed here: Masters Final Project

I completed my final project in August of 2011. I had begun my MA-IS with the intention of going abroad to teach English in Korea where my brother had gone in November/2008. I intended to recoup the money I had invested (wasted?) on my education by teaching English, but mostly, I wanted to use Korea as a base from which to see the other side of the world. There was, however, one not very minor hitch: in the summer of 2010, I had met the love of my life. I mean, the kind of love that comes only once in one’s life. Although I had got married in September of 2008, that was due to paternal pressure. I divorced in May of 2009. I was and am not the marrying type. At least, until I met the love of my life whom I shall keep anonymous because she now leads her own life in Montreal.

WHAT YOU MUST GIVE UP
I remember once in December, it was snowing in the afternoon. One of those glorious afternoon snowfalls where the sun is shining, and large clumsy snowflakes parachute from the sky, laying a soft blanket of pure white silence that insulates the earth and traps the heat. We were out walking her dog, a large gentle Golden Retriever named Charlie who could easily pass for a polar bear especially the way he frolicked in the snow, eating it and cavorting in it with absolute abandonment. We had chased Charlie around in the snow and were all covered in snow, so we decided to go in and get some hot chocolate. The falling snow reflected the sun in the blue heavens glittering like miniature diamonds. I happened to look over at her and she smiled at me with her teeth as bright as the falling snow and her incredible hazel-green eyes and I felt a shiver inside even though I wasn’t cold. That shiver was the shock of realizing that I could spend the rest of my life with her.

But, things don’t always work out the way you want them to, or perhaps more correctly, things always work out the way you want them to, but you must give up something precious in the process. I had already committed the last three years of my life to getting my Master’s so that I could go to Korea. I had already made a commitment to my brother who was expecting me to go over there and help him set up his own school. She had already applied to Concordia University in Montreal for the Creative Writing program. There was an age gap. There was paternal pressure against our relationship. But, these were not obstacles so much as the spice of prohibition that livens any forbidden fruit. No, the problems were not outside us, but within us. Our own dreams were forcing us apart

In August of 2011, I submitted my final project thereby fulfilling the final requirements for my Master’s. My dream of traveling the world had begun. She went to Concordia for Orientation. My heart was breaking. This blog is that story.